How do you encourage relationship with your children?

Journaling was particularly useful for several of my children. Especially the ones that were not strong verbal communicators. I gave each of my young ones a blank book so they could write to me and I could write back. The understanding was that spelling and punctuation and grammar did not matter.

“Just write what you want, when you want, and put it next to my bed,” I suggested. “I’ll write back and put the book next to your bed.”

There were periods when we wrote back and forth every day. There were times when the books lay forgotten on nightstands, collecting dust. Then one day, I would find a journal once more on my nightstand and open it to a page where a child had renewed a conversation, poured out their heart on paper in a way they could not do verbally, or had jotted down an observation. There might be a question. A rant. Often there was a quickly penned “I love you Mama.”

Just as often, those journals were a pleasant diversion where we conversed about holiday plans, Christmas lists, whispered hopes, and daring dreams.

Several of my children began journaling with each other. The invitation of a blank book encouraged fresh communication, deepening relationships between siblings.

Excerpted from Rediscovering Your Happily Ever After by PeggySue Wells (Kregel).      http://amzn.to/IUZZlh

 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. (3 John 1:4)

Each of my children is beautifully unique. Hannah dressed for prom in a lovely up-do, fine make-up, fairy tale gown, and Tony Lama cowboy boots. It is perfectly, distinctly her. Celebrating Mother’s Day, I rejoice that my children love the Lord. I pray they will be fearless in being authentically themselves and live life full blast, full out.

What characteristics, likes and dislikes frame the genuine you?

My book, Rediscovering Your Happily Ever After: Moving from Hopeless to Hopeful for the Newly Divorced Mom is available in paperback and on kindle.

http://amzn.to/IUZZlh

Single moms can be effective parents. Single moms can raise successful children. We can provide nurturing environments for our children to grow into healthy adults, confident that they are loved and full of grand potential. And we can use all the help we can get.

Packed with hope, helps, inspiration, and enCOURAGEment, Rediscovering Your Happily Ever After is written for the 17 million single moms and their 20 million children who make up today’s single-parent households. Get a copy today – one for yourself and one for a friend.

http://amzn.to/IUZZlh

Take action here:  http://bit.ly/K0jUTE

Read the riveting true story of an upscale Detroit teenage girl caught in human trafficking in the book I wrote with Theresa Flores titled The Slave Across the Street. Order your copy today!        http://amzn.to/KjQfHX

Listening skills involves learning a new definition of LOVER

Listening is an action. It is a gift we give. We feel esteemed and respected when we feel heard. This is the definition of good listening from my wise counselor, Dr. Joe Martin.

L = Listening attentively. The effective listener is fully conscious of the other person who is talking. It is the ability to give full personal attention to the matter at hand.  It involves positive regard for the person who is speaking.  Listening involves focusing on the words (7%), tone of voice (33%) and the body language (60%) of the speaker making certain you really hear what is being said.  This involves paying attention, watching alertly, to be present and ready to assist the other person if needed. Thus in the field of Psychology we often refer to effective listening as attending to the other person.

O = Observing the other person carefully.  When you are paying attention to the other person you are watching them intently not only to hear the words they are using but also the inflection of their voice, the manner in which they are addressing the subject, the way they are looking at you, their facial expressions, their body language and everything related to them. You are saying to the person I respect you enough to give you my full attention. I really want to hear what you are saying because you are important to me. I accept you as a valued person who is worth listening to. I respect you as having something significant to say. Observation is your total and undivided attention the one who is talking.

V = Validation.  How can we validate the person speaking with us when in effect we may disagree? If we are listening with the intent of really hearing what the other person is saying, we are not thinking of a way to correct the person or show them the error of their thinking. We are in fact, trying to find a way to let them know they are heard and we can accept what they are saying as a valid.  We look at the speaker as one who is worthy of our esteem and is of significant importance to us.

E = Listening says to the other person I hold you in high esteem. I respect you as a person created in the image and likeness of God.  I feel that you have something important for me to hear and I want to know what you are talking about. I have never met a person I cannot learn from.  This is another way of saying I value you as a unique, worthwhile person

R = I respect you as a fellow journeyman in this life we share on earth. I accept you unconditionally and will listen to what you have to say. You are a valued person to me as both of us are valued in the sight of God through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ our Lord.  I respect the fact that God gives you wisdom and insights and I need to hear what you are saying out of respect for who you are in Christ. I feel pleased to know that you are willing to share what you have to say with me.  Therefore I accept what is being said as an act of taking and receiving a gift that is being offered by you.

Photo by Estee B. Wells

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29 

I’ve gained and lost 350 pounds. That’s 50 pounds with each pregnancy; yes more than the recommended amount but I’m an overachiever. This is substantial material for an eager tabloid reporter seeking a weighty story and ample weight-loss tips.

When my son’s battle buddy began hanging out at our home, he asked, “Do you have chocolate every day?”

“Don’t you?” I handed him a warm brownie fresh from the oven. “Chocolate is not just for breakfast.”

Health experts recommend we eat several servings of fruit daily. Cocoa beans and coffee beans grow on trees. That makes them a fruit.

Fitness books can be summed up in one principle; move more and eat less.  It’s good for our health. Regular exercise combined with a healthy diet may be inconvenient when I crave a large bag of vitamin M’s (M&Ms) and a parking place on the couch for a movie marathon today, but getting up for aerobics now and fitting into my jeans in the morning is certainly preferable—physically and financially—to chronic disease or bypass surgery in the future.

The same is true in family life. With a little daily effort spiced with generous portions of fun, we can encourage thriving families in a pleasant and nurturing environment.

Within the home, each family develops traditions and rituals. Uplifting traditions bring joy and a sense of connectedness for you and your children. Read aloud, embark on adventures, explore interests. Celebrate large and small victories, and holidays.

Shared stories, plenty of laughter, favorite foods, and words of grace are the glue that hold family relationships together for generations.

Charleston Tea Plantation is the only tea plantation in North America. No kidding.

Situated on a timeless island just outside charming Charleston, the plantation is home to a big green combine adapted to harvest the fresh tea leaves by giving the rows of plants a military buzz cut. While most tea plantations require some 500 workers to pick the desired new leaves by hand, American ingenuity allows this plantation to function with about five workers.

The leaves are grown, harvested, and processed all on site. The Charleston Tea Plantation offers a delightful tour of the southern grounds for visitors as well as samples of their signature tea. Served hot or cold. Sweet or unsweet.

http://bit.ly/IXLy0c

There are simple principles for life lived full blast, full out.

1) Trust God

2) Love unconditionally

3) Be generous

4) Practice honesty

5) Look for the best in others

6) Every challenge is an opportunity